Oh Dear

So I've been reading Questionable Content for two hours STRAIGHT and am going to speak like Jeph writes in this blog. Okays? Yup.

So (ooh, a pattern!) I impaled myself on a box of graham crackers (yeah, I know) yesterday and my bruise is (I measured it) three inches in diameter. Holy mother of Pope John Paul. It exudes pain.

So I accidentally skipped class today by forgetting what time it was. Oops. This is definitely the only time that will happen. However, it gave me a chance to do all of my homework for the entire week. Kind of nice.

So I should go sleep now since I am experiencing what one would call "sleep madness." I am considering eating a lightbulb and then stalking Alanis Morisette (subliminal message: WATCH DOGMA).

I am so not okay.